When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.
― Andy Warhol
You reached out, but are you really ready?
"I should..", "I'm gonna.."
If you're here, it's probably the dead of night. You're alone with your thoughts and convinced it's time to improve, or cut out bad habits, or make a change. You might even contact me and I call you back in the morning. Will you take the call or respond to the email? Truthfully, probably not. Why? You're now back to being ok with your vices or problem space. It's what you know after all. Change is scary - even when it's for the best.
Am I surprised more often than not people who reach out lose interest quickly? No. And it's likely this Fact Sheet isn't the magic pill that convinces you otherwise, but I'm going to give it a go.
It's everyone else's fault. It's not you, how can it be? You can't control how things will turn out, so why try? Sound familiar?
I'm a Virgo, so of course I'm anxious. My husband never listens to me. I've never been able to save. Is your identity all tied up in your problem space? Who would you be if you no longer have the problem? Your problem is not who you are, but it's comforting allowing it to be.
What if it doesn't work? What if I change and he leaves me? You have 12,000+ thoughts a day and a hundred different outcomes, but your default setting is to think of the worst. The future and the unknown is scary if you let it be.
You know what you know. What you don't know is always the worst possible scenario, right?
If any of these points are relatable, you're not alone and you're stuck in your head. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, you're not taking action because you're scared of failure or the unknown or letting go of what you've always done. When you stop drinking, what will you do with your day? If you're not angry or in pain anymore, who are you and how will others see and treat you? How will you feel not being the centre of attention anymore?
So I'm going to say something that's not good for business. Don't call me on a whim. When you're ready to take action, I'm here and we can work together on taking action.
Thoughts and actions are not the same
"He stole my idea" How many times have you had an idea, only to see someone make it a reality? Was your idea just a thought, or did you take steps and actions?
You have a thought, your thought turns into a feeling that makes you feel good or bad, and then based on the feeling, you either choose to take action or not - you choose not to take action even when you know the outcome will benefit you. Think about why